Theatrical Releases: Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted & Prometheus

PROMETHEUS || June 8th, 2012

MADAGASCAR 3: EUROPE’S MOST WANTED || Having not seen either of the first two Madagascar films, I have little desire to see the third, which, for some reason, places these runaway animals in Europe, being chased by some British bobby, forcing them to join the carnival. How this film franchise has made as much money as it has, I will never know, and I would to never get involved with it in any way, shape, or form. PASS
PROMETHEUS || Ridley Scott’s not-quite-a-sequel to Alien, Prometheus has stellar science fiction elements, thrilling action sequences, and enough star power to rival some of the best action films. With Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, and Noomi Rapace, as well as a disguised Guy Pearce, Prometheus is on par to be one of the best movies of the summer.
THEATER

1 OUT OF 7 || The Lifetime channel must have too many movies these days and now they’re spilling into the theaters. 1 Out Of 7 is a glorified Lifetime original movie about pregnant teenager who runs away from home to live on the street, taking on a druggy boyfriend until Vivica A. Fox shows up to save the day. The voice-over is the worst part of this trailer, coming off like a “save the children” commercial. PASS
2016: OBAMA’S AMERICA || Synopsis: Emotionally engaging, 2016 Obama’s America will make you confounded and cheer as you discover the mysteries and answers to your greatest aspirations and worst fears. PASS
BEL AMI || Sexy period pieces are hard to beat, and with Uma Thurman and Christina Ricci as the sexy leading ladies, Bel Ami gains a little more of my interest. Robert Pattinson never sells a film for me (and not just because of Twilight, which I also cannot stand), but because he is not a very good actor. However, Water For Elephants and Remember Me were both tolerable with him at the helm, so I will probably give Bel Ami the benefit of the doubt. The trailer for the film is epic, especially for a story about infidelity and desire, and with that, I will be seeing this film. RENT
BLOCKED || Synopsis: An internet stalker terrorizes a man and his wife during their 20 year high school reunion. PASS
DARK HORSE || There are quirky films like Jeff, Who Lives At Home and then there are wanna-be’s like Dark Horse. With a somewhat above average cast, including Justin Bartha and Selma Blair, Dark Horse is about yet another 30-something living with his parents. Christopher Walken and Mia Farrow play the leading parents, and let me say, Walken is looking rough, having not aged well. There is absolutely nothing funny in this trailer and I will definitely be avoiding this release. PASS
DOUBLE TROUBLE || You could go worse with a foreign action film. At least Double Trouble appears to be packed with action and tight-dressed, kick ass models. From the trailer, I have no idea what the film is about, but there’s fighting and chasing so it must be an action film. STREAM
FOR THE LOVE OF MONEY || What is the point of this film? The poster is a complete rip-off of Affleck’s The Town, the story looks like drivel, and the trailer acts like the cast is something extremely special when really it’s mainly a bunch of washed up old guys who probably shouldn’t be in an action movie. No way am I seeing this. PASS
ILL MANORS || The trailer for Ill Manors does not do the film very good justice, but it does deliver a pretty large bang for its buck. With no idea what the film is about apart from its gritty setting and flawed characters, the trailer depicts a large amount of happenings that cannot be denied. PASS
KNOCKDOWN || Synopsis: A former American boxer now exiled in Bangkok, is forced to confront his violent past after meeting a mysterious fight fan from his hometown. PASS
LOLA VERSUS || Greta Gerwig has settled in nicely, building a quirky aura around herself that exudes in all her films and makes her both adorable and independently strong and sexy. Though the perfect addition to Woody Allen’s upcoming feature, her presence is welcome in films like Damsels In Distress and this new feature, Lola Versus. Playing Lola, a single woman on the rebound from an engagement, she must find the balance between finding love and simply having sex, which is often not addressed in films from the woman’s point of view. Greta can sell any film for me, and I will see this just for her. RENT
MISSION TO LARS || Mission To Lars is actually a pretty interesting idea for a documentary. The filmmakers are siblings with an autistic brother who has a slight obsession with the metal band, Metallica, and has always wanted to meet Lars Ulrich, the drummer. Without any explanation as to how they will make that happen, my interest is peaked to see the outcome. PASS
PATAGONIA RISING || This is your run-of-the-mill documentary with two sides to a debate, whether or not dams should be created in Patagonia. Many locals refuse to sell-out, while the corporations that want this say nothing ec0logical will be destroyed. Based mainly on interviews with both sides, I see little reason to care about this film. PASS
PAUL WILLIAMS STILL ALIVE || There’s something nifty about filming a documentary about a man who doesn’t really want a documentary filmed about him. Paul Williams was a popular guy back in the day, but is living a normal life these days and is not sure why anyone would want to make a documentary about him, and that sounds like the makings of a unique documentary. STREAM
PEACE, LOVE, AND MISUNDERSTANDING || This film suffers from a predictable, love story plot, and for some reason, organic commune storylines are popular lately. However, give me Elizabeth Olsen and I will probably see your film. I am also a fan of Catherine Keener and Jeffrey Dean Morgan, so I may actually catch this film, despite its rather apparent shortcomings. STREAM
PINK SKIES || Synopsis: Pink Skies is an inspirational documentary about the empowerment of women. It’s about overcoming obstacles as athletes and as human beings. The film covers an extraordinary event ‘Jump for the Cause’. Last year, JFTC brought together 181 women from 31 countries to create a World Record All-Women’s Skydiving Formation. They also raised almost $1 million dollars for breast cancer research! Along with phenomenal skydivers, the film features breast cancer survivors, cutting edge researchers, doctors and healers. It reveals breakthroughs that have not been widely publicized, explores whats working and what needs to be changed and the seismic shift towards prevention. PASS
PTOWN DIARIES || More like a travel-log than a documentary, PTown Diaries unearths the gay and lesbian community that celebrates each year at Provincetown, Mass. PASS
SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED || These are the Indie films I live and die for. Starring Aubrey Plaza in the leading role, Jake Johnson and Mark Duplass in supporting roles, and a time travel theme, this Indie looks exceptionally promising. Whether there is actually any time travel or not is yet to be seen, but being based on an actual newspaper ad, it will be interesting to see what this film actually has to offer. THEATER
SUCH GREAT HEIGHTS || I’m actually interested in taking a look behind the scenes of MMA fighters and knowing what actually drive them to do what they and this documentary appears to do just that. Following a gym of MMA fighters aiming for the UFC, through interviews and fights, you get to know these people on an entirely new level. STREAM
THE VIRGIN DIARIES || Synopsis: A documentary that chronicles the chastity movement amongst Evangelical Christians. One in eight girls in the US has vowed to remain pure until marriage. For two years, the filmmakers follow the Wilson family, founders of the Purity Ball, to show how a young generation is groomed to embody an Evangelically-grounded Utopia. PASS

THEATER

  • Prometheus
  • Safety Not Guaranteed

RENT

  • Bel Ami
  • Lola Versus

STREAM

  • Double Trouble
  • Paul Williams Still Alive
  • Peace, Love, & Misunderstanding
  • Such Great Heights

PASS

  • 1 Out Of 7
  • 2016: Obama’s America
  • Blocked
  • Dark Horse
  • For The Love Of Money
  • Ill Manors
  • Knockdown
  • Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted
  • Mission To Lars
  • Patagonia Rising
  • Pink Skies
  • PTown Diaries
  • The Virgin Diaries

 

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