Theatrical Releases: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter & Brave

BRAVE || June 22nd, 2012

ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER || As much as I admire Abraham Lincoln, there’s something about exploding trees, rubber buildings, and trains on fire that just does not scream for my attention. Though I am curious to see how they pull off this film, I have no desire to see it in theaters. RENT
BRAVE || Pixar’s release this year, Brave appears to have all the qualities needed to cash in at next year’s Academy Awards. With a dismal showing last year with Cars 2 and Toy Story 3 taking all the attention the previous year, not to mention Up garnering everyone’s admiration in 2009, Brave could finally bring Pixar back to its glory, with a nice, charming tale about a princess who is more interested in shooting bow and arrows than finding a husband, despite her mother’s wishes. The animation looks great, the story looks fitting, and overall, this will be the animated film to see this year.
THEATER
SEEKING A FRIEND FOR THE END OF THE WORLD || Steve Carrell and Keira Knightley are two actors that are mediocre in my mind. They are wonderful in supporting roles, like Carrell’s stints in Anchorman and Bruce Almighty, while Knightley has been just fine in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, but place them in the leading roles, and I am not sure it will progress a film as I’d like it to. The trailer does have its moments, like Carrell’s comment of “I regret my entire life” made at the foreign cleaning woman. In the midst of the apocalypse themed films of late, this will probably fall by the wayside, but I am still intrigued enough to see this in theaters. THEATER
TO ROME WITH LOVE || I have been a Woody Allen fan for quite some time (ever since seeing Annie Hall for the first time) and since then I have tried to see all his films, keeping up to date with them as they came out as well. Having been a big fan of Vicky Cristina Barcelona and Midnight In Paris, I have high expectations for To Rome With Love, especially with its stacked ensemble cast. RENT

BRO’ || Banking mainly on Danny Trejo’s cameo in the film, Bro’ looks like the quintessential “extreme sports” film, with dirt biking and tawdry women remaining the focus of the film. Though guns and gangs seem to be involved somehow, the trailer really does not explain anything in lines of plot and simply lists off all the artists (including Kottonmouth Kings) that play in the film. PASS
GRASSROOTS || This is the time of Indie that I truly enjoy, which is when comedic actors star in mostly serious roles. Jason Biggs takes a step away from his American Pie days and finds himself in a role as campaign manager for his outspoken friend. With ulterior motives, I am interested mostly in the dynamic that will become of this friendship portrayed in the trailer when those motives come to light. Throw in Colbie Smulders and Lauren Ambrose, and you have a good looking film if I do say so myself. STREAM
THE INVISIBLE WAR || Let me clarify, first, that I do believe this is an issue (rape occurring in the Armed Forces), however, should we be airing that laundry in a film like this? Probably not. Now, everyone has a right to make a documentary and if this is an issue that they feel needs to be brought to the public, then fine, but do not make it sound like everyone in the Armed Forces is raping one another, because that’s just not true and there should be no reason we are shedding bad light on those that protect our country. The trailer is very victimizing and, for someone not involved in the Armed Forces whatsoever, I am very offended for them. PASS
KUMARE || Kumare rides that very familiar line developed by films like Borat and Bruno, which seem like real life stories playing out in candid documentary form, but are really staged and not real at all. Kumare appears to involve real people, but comes off very cinematic and choreographed. Until I know more about the film, I will probably pass, though the set-up sounds somewhat interesting, dealing with a fake prophet. PASS
THE LAST RIDE || The production quality looks devastatingly weak, the story is watered down, and the only positive side to this trailer is seeing Kaley Cuoco finally hit the big screen. Despite her presence, however, this film is the straight-to-DVD-looking release of the week and I really hope they quit making films like this. PASS
LOVE BIRDS || Synopsis: Love Birds, starring Rhys Darby (“Flight of the Concords”) and Sally Hawkins (“Happy Go-Lucky,” “Jane Eyre”), is a delightful romantic comedy featuring the music of Queen, about a recently single man who finds an injured duck and reluctantly decides to nurse it back to health. This propels him on a new journey of self-discovery that leads him into the arms of a veterinarian who, as a single mother, shows him a new way to look at life. PASS
MARY PICKFORD: THE MUSE OF THE MOVIES || Synopsis: “Mary Pickford, The Muse of the Movies” traces the life and work of the legendary silent film star, movie pioneer, and keen business woman who co-created United Artists Studios. Pickford’s life (1892-1979)also parallels an even larger story, the telling of the “birth of the cinema” itself. PASS
ONE NATION UNDER DOG || Synopsis: Revealing sobering and often shocking realities behind America’s relationship with dogs, this latest HBO Documentary takes an unflinching look not only at how far some dog lovers will go for their pets, but also how far the nation must still go before all dogs are treated humanely. The documentary explores the conflicted and passionate relationships between dogs and humans, and the daunting odds that face millions of unwanted shelter dogs. PASS
STELLA DAYS || There’s only so many ways I can say this, but “what the hell is this?” Driven only by a performance by Martin Sheen there is nothing striking about this church-related drama and if I never see this again it will be too soon. PASS
TERI MERI KAHAAN || For the second week in a row, we get treated to a three minute-plus Bollywood trailer which couldn’t possibly be any worse. Depicting three different love stories in some sort of cockeyed musical, Bollywood just keeps proving itself odder and odder. I will pass on this and probably everything else coming out of India… sorry. PASS

THEATER

  • Brave
  • Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World

RENT

  • Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
  • To Rome With Love

STREAM

  • Grassroots

PASS

  • Bro’
  • The Invisible War
  • Kumare
  • The Last Ride
  • Love Birds
  • Mary Pickford: The Muse Of The Movies
  • One Nation Under Dog
  • Stella Days
  • Teri Meri Kahaan

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Theatrical Releases: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter & Brave

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s