Theatrical Releases: Evil Dead & Jurassic Park 3D

EVIL DEAD || April 5th, 2013

TheBrassTeapot-poster Truth be told, I have an infatuation with Juno Temple. I noticed her first in the recent adaptation for “The Three Musketeers” and “Year One” is very supporting roles. But over time, she’s become a bigger start in the Indie scene and I’ve got to say I am completely enjoying it. She’s a smart, incredibly sexy actress with a bright future and “The Brass Teapot” looks like it could be on its way to becoming one of my favorite films of the year. About a teapot that produces money every time its owner(s) are hurt, the true test of greed is revealed. Michael Angarano is also an extremely competent Indie actor and with the gorgeous Alexis Bledel in a supporting role, I cannot wait to see this film. THEATER
TheCompanyYouKeep-poster Engaging and well cast, “The Company You Keep” has at least enough star power to keep the entire film interesting. Robert Redford directs and stars in this politically charged thriller, producing familiar faces around every corner and providing a template to any future inspirations to making an ensemble piece work out perfectly. Overall, Redford proves successful in both his roles of the film and never shows signs of aging, a curse that comes for many seasoned actors of his generation.
EvilDead-poster Reliable as a remake and as a decent horror film, “Evil Dead” may not be the “most terrifying film you will ever experience” but it does find a nice balance between the “gore-fest” that Hollywood horror has become and the eerie horror that actual produces scares, although it’s still the goriest film you will see this year. Helped mostly by Fede Alvarez’s decision to go mostly practical, this film will live on well into the next century.
FreeAngelaAndAllPoliticalPrisoners-poster A film about a strong-minded, willful African American female fighting to have her voice heard for equal rights, “Free Angela” is the story of Angela Davis, a philosophy professor at UCLA in the 60’s and 70’s. What the trailer doesn’t really touch on is that forty years later, Angela is speaking openly about everything that happened to her during that period. I am all about activism, but I will have to support this film without seeing it, having little entertainment value attached.
PASS
JurassicPark3D-poster “Jurassic Park” is a masterpiece and one of the greatest films of all-time. An adventure on one of the grandest scales, the iconic dinosaur and island imagery and still-ahead-of-its-time visual effects will live on forever. Steven Spielberg solidifies his name in the history books alongside Michael Crichton, who turns his epic novel into an extremely precise screenplay. The cast is spectacular, especially Jeff Goldblum, who ushers in a new generation of smart talking scientists. With a slew of one-liners and some of the most recognizable cinematography in American cinema, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this film and gets better every time you see it.
NoPlaceOnEarth-poster Here’s an astonishing fact that swept over me while viewing this trailer. We’re reaching a point in our history where any actual accounts of events like World War II and the Holocaust will be only stories written in books or in movies. So much time has past since that everyone directly involved in those encounters are passing away. It will definitely be a sad day when that happens but with films like “No Place On Earth” about children and families living in caves during the Holocaust, these stories will live on forever. 50%PROBABLY
Trance-poster Danny Boyle wastes nothing in his latest psychological thriller “Trance” starring James McAvoy and Vincent Cassel. The showstopper, however, is Rosario Dawson in her best performance yet. Delving deeply into the world of hypnosis and art heisting, the erratic nature of the film allows the director to build layers and layers of shifting memories and plots, allowing the viewer to get submerged in the pulling twists and turns of the fractured narrative. Likely one of his most ambition films, this takes a place as one of my favorite works of Boyle’s.

6Souls-poster Despite its 5% on Rotten Tomatoes, there’s still a part of me that wants to give this a chance, for Julianna Moore and just for a general horror, thriller film. Based around a man with violent split personalities, Jonathan Rhys Meyers actually looks intriguing even though Julianna Moore is the selling point. The production quality looks good and it seems to delve into the metaphysical world that peaks my interest as well. 50%PROBABLY
AndreGregoryBeforeAndAfterDinner-poster A poorly produced trailer for an incredibly interesting man. This feels like a PBS special rather than a feature documentary film. None-the-less, it does not sway me to want to see it.
PASS
TheAtticDoor-poster Considered me somewhat intrigued with the premise of this film “The Attic Door”, set in Western times with two children abandoned by their parents. Left to tend to their farm, the children face their fears, but apparently there’s something waiting for them behind an attic door. The film garners some small time awards and the child actress is raved about so if I do come across this film, I may not be able to turn away.
25%MAYBE
BertSternOriginalMadMan-poster Bert Stern was an interesting man surrounded by even more interesting people including the ethereal Marilyn Monroe. He was what seemed like her personal photographer and some say even had some sort of a romance with her. Although the trailer doesn’t touch on the meaning of “original mad man”, his photos helped kick start many ad campaigns in his day and he will often remain an icon in the photography world. RENTAL
EddieTheSleepwalkingCannibal-poster Is there a reason we don’t see the paintings in the trailer for this film. I felt like it was leading up to a reveal but then saw nothing. Unless it’s a huge twist in the film, but honestly, there’s nothing even remotely selling me on this film. The production quality is low, the acting is average, and the storyline is dull. PASS
ShotgunWedding-poster “Shotgun Wedding” looks somewhat hilarious, evolving around a wedding party in which the groom somehow accidentally shoots the maid-of-honor in the face with a shot gun. I’m laughing while I type that description so something about that must be funny. The gimmick works as the entire party tries to cover it up in a particularly comical way. Overall, it feels like a dark comedy in the style of “The Office”.
25%MAYBE
SimonKiller-poster Normally I’d be all over this film, titled “Simon Killer”, but there’s something about this Indie that just doesn’t peak my interest or draw me in. Instead, it’s almost rather dull. However, it does score an 82% on Rotten Tomatoes and seems to be generally approved of, so perhaps I will eventually come across this film and find myself watching it.
25%MAYBE
StevieNicksInYourDreams-poster Fleetwood Mac was great, I know people obsessed with Stevie Nicks, but I really am not one of them and have no real desire to see this film. About her latest album and writing new songs, heading into their nationwide tour, Stevie comes off a bit negative throughout the whole trailer and says “I’ve never written a song with anyone in the room” about 10 times, which is about 9 times too many.
PASS
TheStoryOfLuke-poster For some reason, I like the awkwardness of this trailer and its characters. The entire premise resembles “The Sessions” if John Hawkes character was able to walk. “The Story Of Luke” puts an extremely awkward young man in the throws of getting a job and assimilating to everyday life including meeting girls and interacting with coworkers.
25%

MAYBE

Thale-poster Somewhere between fantasy and horror, “Thale” falls into this creepy, hyper-fantasy world where certain humans evolved into creatures that resemble forest animals, including the incredibly attractive female on the poster. There’s a few shots in this trailer that get me amped, including one where a man’s on the phone and steps back and there’s some sort of creature standing on the road. Also, foreign films are normally quite better about their fantasy genre films.
50%

PROBABLY

TomorrowYoureGone-poster Willem Dafoe and Michelle Monaghan are selling points to me, but this film just looks like a retread of several ideas. It also feels like a straight-to-DVD release. But that being said, the cast looks phenomenal and whoever created this has effectively peaked my interest enough to see it.
75%

MOST LIKELY

UpstreamColor-poster I have been told by multiple sources that I would enjoy both “Primer” and “Upstream Color” and that this director is going to be a pivotal filmmaker. Though the trailer has me completely baffled to what will be happening in this film, I feel a twinge of Terrence Malick-esque art to the film and, agreeing with those that tell me, I will probably enjoy these films.
RENTAL
WhatCouldHaveBeen-poster Whoever cut this trailer appears to have no concept of what a trailer is or how one is cut together. I can physically hear the edits in this piece and at times words are cut off or inaudible. The “drama” looks so forced it hurts, the acting feels like its out of an overindulged,  over-dramatized play on melodrama. To be completely honest, I couldn’t even make it through this trailer. Next time get a real trailer editor to help sell your shitty movie.
PASS

THEATER

  • The Brass Teapot
  • The Company You Keep
  • Evil Dead
  • Jurassic Park 3D
  • Trance

RENTAL

  • Bert Stern: Original Mad Man
  • Upstream Color

MOST LIKELY CATCH ON NETFLIX (75%)

  • Tomorrow You’re Gone

PROBABLY CATCH ON NETFLIX (50%)

  • 6 Souls
  • No Place On Earth
  • Thale

MIGHT CATCH ON NETFLIX (25%)

  • The Attic Door
  • Shotgun Wedding
  • Simon Killer
  • The Story Of Luke

PASS

  • Andre Gregory: Before and After Dinner
  • Eddie The Sleepwalking Cannibal
  • Free Angela and All Political Prisoners
  • Stevie Nicks: In Your Dreams
  • What Could Have Been

HELL NO

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