Theatrical Releases: The Internship & The Purge

THE PURGE || June 7th, 2013

TheInternship-poster Although it’s not the genius that was “Wedding Crashers”, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson’s latest collaboration “The Internship” far exceeded my expectations. With a workplace setting, fish-out-of-water plot structure, and trailers that contained very few memorable jokes and the promise of the funniest moments being displayed well before opening night, Shawn Levy’s comedy actually hits home on a number of levels.
ThePurge-poster Remember that horror film with a vibe much like “The Strangers”, a genius marketing plan using billboards and radio advertisements that look and sound like public service announcements, and some real potential. Yeah, me too. It was called “The Purge” and like the blood-lusting lunatics grinning through their masks, this film left all of that potential at the front door.
RapturePalooza-poster Out a few days before fellow apocalypse film “This Is The End” which also stars Craig Robinson, “Rapture-Palooza” looks a little more on the independent side, with lesser cinematography and lesser star power. That being said, Anna Kendrick is a huge draw for me and in a white dress with tons of cleavage, you could get me to watch just about anything that she’s in. RENTAL
Syrup-poster Take what I said about Anna Kendrick above and repeat for Amber Heard. She’s stunning and standing in a black dress, she’s all that and more. “Syrup” has a somewhat erratic nature from the look of the trailer and I’m still not sure who has Shiloh Fernandez’s back in Hollywood, but with two unstoppable blondes (Heard and Snow), I’m in. RENTAL

2+2-poster Swingers. Foreign swingers. The sexuality of this film looks intriguing and provocative, but there would be too much awkward humor and melodrama to sift through for me. The ladies are sexy, but the struggle of whether or not to swing is not humorous to me.
PASS
DirtyWars-poster There’s a portion in the “Dirty Wars” trailer that says it all. Jay Leno makes a comment to Jeremy Scahill, the writer and star of the documentary, which is meant as a joke, and when they cut back to him, he’s completely straight-faced. I get that war is serious and we should never take it lightly, but lighten up. The film feels too overproduced and could be mistaken for a feature film instead of an independent documentary, which actually hurts it rather than help. PASS
GirlsInTheBand-poster I couldn’t even finish this trailer, it was so boring. I respect the journey these women overcame to play jazz music in whatever era they were in, but Jesus, I feel like I’m in the nursing home, looking at black-and-white photos, listening to the old women tell their stories one by one. This is absolutely interesting information, but the presentation is boring as hell. PASS
HelloHerman-poster Norman Reedus is destined for great things but “Hello Herman” is not one of them. Norman looks great but the film itself is dismal, with certain footage looking like home video quality and some of the news footage looking like cardboard cut-outs. The story is weak, the characters are weak, and Norman Reedus deserves better. PASS
HeyBartender-poster As much as I appreciate bartenders, if I wanted to see “Hey Bartender”, I’d probably just go out to any one of the thousands of bars in Los Angeles and enjoy the sights and sounds there. And if I was curious about my bartender, I might strike up a conversation. But otherwise, seeing a film about bartending just isn’t remotely interesting.
PASS
MuchAdoAboutNothing-poster Joss Whedon takes a break from his new claim to fame with Marvel and delivers a Shakespearean adaptation in “Much Ado About Nothing”. Starring most of his regulars from the “Firefly” and “The Cabin In The Woods”, Whedon presents his take on black-and-white filmmaking. I’ve heard nothing but good things.
THEATER
ThePrey-poster Did you run out of a budget a third of the way through the trailer that you couldn’t keep up the voice-over? So here’s what you did wrong. The voice-over is cheesy and does nothing to help the film. Also, you cram way too much voice-over right away. Then you also bring in cards with no voice-over. The trailer lacks any speaking parts, leading me to believe I will hate this film. And lastly, you never get a look at the female lead, who will probably be one of the only things that gets people to see this film.
PASS
TigerEyes-poster I feel like I’ve watched this trailer 3-4 times, yet I never remember what this films about; I never read the book. I know Willa Holland from her “The O.C.” days. She’s great. With what I assume is great source material, I feel like I can trust in this film to see it.
50% PROBABLY
VioletAndDaisy-poster Honestly, it’s Alexis Bledel and Saoirse Ronan, so regardless of what the quality of “Violet & Daisy” is, I will still be seeing this at some point. Sadly, the film looks like a mess, as two young women venture out as hit-women to earn a living. James Gandolfini stars in one of his last roles prior to his heart attack, which now adds another reason I will probably see this.
RENTAL
WelcometoPineHill-poster Don’t get me wrong, I love independent films, but “Welcome to Pine Hill” is a little too slow in the trailer, let alone the film, to fully grasp my attention. I appreciate what all of this can mean and struggles this character may have to go through, but if I’m yawning during the trailer, who knows if I’d make it through the entire film.
PASS
WishYouWereHere-poster Love Joel Edgerton. Love Teresa Palmer. “Wish You Were Here” looks a tad bit out in left field, with the Australian accents and somewhat melodramatic acting but I can’t help but be drawn to these actors.
75% MOST LIKELY

THEATER

  • The Internship
  • Much Ado About Nothing
  • The Purge

RENTAL

  • Rapture-Palooza
  • Syrup
  • Violet & Daisy

MOST LIKELY CATCH ON NETFLIX (75%)

  • Wish You Were Here

PROBABLY CATCH ON NETFLIX (50%)

  • Tiger Eyes

MIGHT CATCH ON NETFLIX (25%)

PASS

  • 2+2
  • Dirty Wars
  • The Girls In The Band
  • Hello Herman
  • Hey Bartender
  • The Prey
  • Welcome To Pine Hill

HELL NO

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