Theatrical Releases: The Conjuring, Red 2, & R.I.P.D.

THE CONJURING || July 19th, 2013

Blackfish-poster Not since “The Cove”, have I felt this strongly about a particular subject and it just so happens they are very similar in nature, with “The Cove” delving into the capture and killing of dolphins in Japan, while “Blackfish” dives into the world of capturing orcas and training them to work at SeaWorld despite their eventual aggression. What Cowperthwaite does best in directing this documentary is collecting all this data about these whales and their actions and putting it into one place. The common denominator from most the present interviews is that no one person was ever told all the facts, apart from the executives of SeaWorld, who were never present in the documentary.
TheConjuring-poster Something has to be said for a horror film that keeps you alert and edgy throughout the entire film. “The Conjuring” is a throwback to classic horror films like Poltergeist and The Exorcist, with an eerie feel from the moment you step foot into the characters’ lives. Based on a true story, director James Wan delivers an age old tale of a family moving into a haunted house, with an attention to detail and an ability to scare that is all but uncommon in horror films today.
Red2-poster The first “Red” was not the best action/comedy I had ever seen and didn’t rank entirely high in my must-sees, but with the cast I was hooked. Now, the same goes for “Red 2”, where you have the return of Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, and Helen Mirren, but you add Catherine Zeta Jones and Anthony Hopkins. My hopes aren’t entirely high for this, but I’ll see it anyways.
THEATER
RIPD-poster I saw an early version of this film and was not entirely impressed. I love Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds, but the film is far too similar to the story structure and ridiculousness of “Men In Black” and even the visual effects can’t keep up. Mary Louise Parker is pulling double duty with this and “Red 2”, but I have little interest in her what-so-ever. Still, with the leading stars, I will probably give this film another chance. (In terms of double duty, it should also be noted that director Robert Schwentke directed the first “Red” as well).
THEATER
Turbo-poster As with most animated films, I often start out on the fence. “Turbo” sees a nail getting a transformations that eventually leads it to Nascar. A tad bit ridiculous and not as captivating as say a Disney or Pixar film, it does see Ryan Reynolds pulling double duty this week as well.
25% MAYBE

ActOfKilling-poster Executive produced by one of my favorite documentary directors, Werner Herzog, “The Act of Killing” takes death squad leaders and has them reenact their killings, to which many of them have an emotional response. There’s a surreal nature to this film and as it almost promises to be dark, I am definitely intrigued.
50% PROBABLY
ComputerChess-poster What looks like an old fashion documentary is actually a completely dry comedy about the nerdy world of chess when computers are introduced. With no notable stars and the driest humor I’ve ever witnessed, it’s safe to say “Computer Chess” is one hundred percent not for me.
PASS
Evidence-poster Interestingly enough, “Evidence” mixes part manhunt thriller with part found footage horror film and creates something that looks vaguely unique. Riding on the popularity of “True Blood’s” Stephen Moyer, this film probably didn’t catch on in theaters but could still pull in some viewers on DVD.
25% MAYBE
GirlMostLikely-poster Strangely enough I am not completely sold on “Girl Most Likely” starring Kristen Wiig and Annette Bening. A little too dry and a little too predictable, there’s not much humor in this trailer and the adult mom acting like a child storyline has been done to death. Sadly, unless this film lands on my lap, I probably won’t be seeing it.
25% MAYBE
Grabbers-poster “Grabbers” looks like a fun alien comedy, both dark enough and funny enough to grab your attention. However, the quality and look of the film are not quite there. Points for originality have to big given, as the alien won’t attack you if you’re drunk, leading the town to having constant parties to fend off the alien squid. Apart of Sundance and with a great poster, this film could find some small cult success.
25% MAYBE
IcebergSlim-poster I appreciate Ice T in his continuation of producing documentaries, but “Iceberg Slim: A Portrait of a Pimp” is just not something I would be interested in, despite all the high profile interviews with celebrities like Chris Rock and Snoop Lion.
PASS
OnlyGodForgives-poster Unflinching. Charismatic. Surreal. Nicolas Winding Refn’s follow-up to “Drive” re-teams Refn with Ryan Gosling for “Only God Forgives”, a self-described neon fairy tale of heightened reality. The screenplay unfolds like a Shakespearean tragedy and although the dialogue is sparse and the opium-infused, fever dream-nature of the film is alienating to most audiences, Ryan Gosling is a force to be reckoned with in any capacity, filling every scene he’s in with the best acted, most precise performance, never failing to grab your complete attention.
TheRooftop-poster You may remember Jay Chou as the martial artist co-star in Seth Rogen’s “The Green Hornet”, but Chou is also a director and helms this Broadway-esque endeavor titled “The Rooftop”, a martial art slash comedy that does not look very entertaining.
PASS
UnderTheBed-poster There’s simply nothing about “Under The Bed” that means a damn to me. There’s no starts, the graphics aren’t quite there, and the monster under the bed story has been done.
PASS
WaysToLiveForever-poster Attribute most of my disdain about this trailer towards not liking Ben Chaplin all that much. Also, I’m just not sure who this movie is aimed at. It’s about kids with leukemia but it’s lighthearted and reminds me of a film like “Incredibly Close and Extremely Loud”, which I also didn’t care for that much.
PASS

THEATER

  • Blackfish
  • The Conjuring
  • Red 2
  • R.I.P.D.

RENTAL

MOST LIKELY CATCH ON NETFLIX (75%)

PROBABLY CATCH ON NETFLIX (50%)

  • The Act of Killing

MIGHT CATCH ON NETFLIX (25%)

  • Evidence
  • Girl Most Likely
  • Grabbers
  • Turbo

PASS

  • Computer Chess
  • Iceberg Slim: Portrait of a Pimp
  • The Rooftop
  • Under The Bed
  • Ways To Live Forever

HELL NO

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