Theatrical Releases: The Wolverine

THE WOLVERINE || July 26th, 2013

BlueJasmine-poster Honestly, the quality of the trailer for “Blue Jasmine” didn’t really matter since Woody Allen has more than earned my respect at this point. That being said, his newest venture looks just as good as all his previous films, putting Cate Blanchett in a world not that different from the famous “Streetcar Named Desire”.
THEATER
Wolverine-poster Expertly displayed as almost a stand-alone Wolverine film, I compare “The Wolverine” to a franchise film like “Skyfall” that gives us a deeper, emotional perspective on a character that we think we know inside and out. Bringing Logan (Hugh Jackman) to the world of the Yakuza and ninjas in Japan, not only does the story feel different from any X-Men outing, it solidifies itself as different from any comic book adaptation to date.

Apartment1303-poster Mischa Barton is at the bottom of the barrel these days, taking on your run-of-the-mill, not-so-scary horror film “Apartment 1303” and not as the main character, but a supporting one. What these independent horror directors need to figure out is that the leading role means everything in these zero concept flicks, and Julianne Michelle is bargain basement casting in the worst of ways. This film isn’t dark and scary and uses the same old tricks that just aren’t effective.
PASS
BreakingTheGirls-poster Call me a pervert, but there’s something about a sexy movie that I can’t turn down. Madeline Zima is definitely not afraid of her sexuality, displayed in both “Heroes” and “Californication”, but in “Breaking the Girls” she’s even more hyper-sexualized against the gorgeous Agnes Bruckner, in this modern adaptation of Hitchcock’s “Strangers on a Train”.
THEATER
DrugWar-poster The word of mouth on this film has been fantastic, but I’m afraid it takes more than that to get me to see certain films these days. “Drug War” takes a look at the world of cartels, where if you’re got, you’re sentence to death,  but when the lead gets caught he offers to help take down the rest of the drug world in exchange for his life. However interesting this may be, the trailer is not that engaging.
PASS
Extracted-poster1 Trying to be far too much, “Extracted” gets a little muddled by its own storyline. One part “Inception”, one part “Source Code”, one part “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”, and one part “The Cell”, this independent film sends detectives into the minds of their criminals to understand why they did what they did, and it all works out until one man gets stuck inside the warped mind of one his criminals.
PASS
FrankensteinsArmy-poster Not until over halfway through the trailer did I even get the inclining of interest in this film. Placing Russians behind Nazi enemy lines and stumbling upon experimentation where Nazis turn their dead into walking, killing Frankenstein monsters, the imagery becomes a horror film in a madhouse which does look somewhat interesting and if handled well enough could work out quite effectively.
25% MAYBE
SpringsteenAndI-poster Even though it’s not everyday you get a Springsteen film produced by Ridley Scott, I’ve got to say I’m extremely disinterested in this film. Praising Bruce Springsteen, but never actually interviewing him, “Springsteen & I” seems like a vanity project that I won’t be seeing. PASS
Stranded-poster Unfortunately, “Stranded” has been done before and much better with films like “Event Horizon”. Despite that, doesn’t the trailer make it pretty clear in the beginning what these people will be up against claiming hallucinations are a side effect of decontamination. So anything they’re seeing can be explained off. Yes, this doesn’t change the imagery and the suspense, but it really has zero meaning for me. PASS
StreetDance-poster Can I make it completely clear that any street dance movie regardless of whether it’s titled “Street Dance” is never going to be for me. I cannot even bring myself to watch this trailer. There’s literally nothing about street dancing that gets me pumped and sadly these films won’t go away.
HELL NO
TimeBeing-poster Apart from the contemplative nature of “The Time Being”, Wes Bentley is just not a selling point for me. Delving into the world of art and apprenticeship, Frank Langella’s character instructs Bentley’s character to film specific things, despite his detesting. The meaning of this film appears foggy to me, and for that I will pass.
PASS
ToDoList-poster Aubrey Plaza proved that she could carry herself in a feature film with “Safety No Guaranteed” but with “The To Do List”, she comes off more like a Saturday Night Live skit rather than a fleshed out human being. As much as I wanted to love this film, it just never felt right, whether it was the caricature of a dad, played by Clark Gregg, the horrible performance from Johnny Simmons, or the sad attempts at making Rachel Bilson a whore. Instead of being the raunchy, sexy comedy of the 90′s that we wanted, all we got was a half-assed, barely funny summer comedy that will likely be forgotten.
Wasteland-poster As much as Luke Treadaway has become a growing star, “Wasteland” fails to really reflect to anything even remotely close to what it advertises itself as. Not quite star studded enough to be the “Oceans” franchise and too recycled to be “The Usual Suspects”, I’m better off just sticking to these films.
PASS

THEATER

  • Blue Jasmine
  • Breaking The Girls
  • The To Do List
  • The Wolverine

RENTAL

MOST LIKELY CATCH ON NETFLIX (75%)

PROBABLY CATCH ON NETFLIX (50%)

MIGHT CATCH ON NETFLIX (25%)

  • Frankenstein’s Army

PASS

  • Apartment 1303
  • Drug Wars
  • Extracted
  • Springsteen & I
  • Stranded
  • The Time Being
  • Wasteland

HELL NO

  • Street Dance

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