Theatrical Releases: Closed Circuit & Getaway

GETAWAY || August 30th, 2013

ClosedCircuit-poster Crowley’s British sub-thriller is able to deliver a few surprises as well as an unpredictable ending that may fall off a bit too quickly but strays from the norm. An action-thriller taking place mostly behind closed doors rather than in exterior chase scenes, the film touts a big, suspenseful game, but when it finally comes down to it, without its strong cast, “Closed Circuit” would be just another “us versus them” incarnation.
Getaway-poster Ethan Hawke has been on a comeback lately with “Sinister” last year and “The Purge” this year, but perhaps he should stick with horror films. Oddly marketed, “Getaway” has some strange red flags that give precedence to the god-awful revies its been given. Despite that, I still enjoy Hawke enough to eventually see it and even in a grimy street-punk hoodie, Selena Gomez is enough eye candy for me.
RENTAL
InstructionsNotIncluded-poster From the looks of it, the film is nothing special, and I am baffled at the numbers that “Instructions Not Included” is putting out. Attributed to the strong Hispanic population that goes to the movies, this film looks hokey and overproduced, with very childish humor with a PG-13 to boot. Who exactly is going to see this movie?
PASS
OneDirectionThisIsUs-poster Were I an 5-12 year old girl, I would probably be interested in seeing “One Direction: This Is Us”, but since I’m not, I will live a comfortable life not seeing it. I was surprised to find out that these guys were separate contestants on Simon Cowell’s British X-Factor show and that he put them together, which is pretty amazing, and that Morgan Spurlock directed this feature. But apart from those surprises, this film has zero to offer me.
PASS

AfternoonDelight-poster Not necessarily in this for Kathryn Hahn, Josh Radnor and Juno Temple are huge selling points for me, in this mid-life crisis, coming of age tale called “Afternoon Delight” in which Hahn’s character takes in a stripper (Temple) after she’s left on the street. I will literally see anything with Temple, and with some rich emotion and numerous laughs in the trailer, this is a definite independent must-see.
THEATER
AmericanMadeMovie-poster How rare is it these days to see products with the insignia “Made In USA”? With the constant employment of people overseas to make out goods, you can imagine the toll it takes on the unemployment rate in America. Pretty soon, all we’ll be producing are American flags. That being said, “American Made Movie” brings these points to light and even the trailer makes you think. Apart from that however, I’m not sure I could sit down and actually see this documentary.
PASS
ApproachingMidnight-poster Under acted and poorly produced, the bad quality of this film is already blaring in the trailer. I get that there might be a good message in there about returning soldiers, somewhere, but with melodramatic turns and cardboard deliveries, there’s nothing about “Approaching Midnight” that makes me want to see it, let alone make it all the way through the trailer.
PASS
Blackout-poster Here’s what “The Blackout” means: that someone thought this was a good enough idea to actually throw money at and to poorly produce a cheap rip-off of “The Hangover” in which a group of friends must get trashed again to remember what they did the night before. Why or how these shitty quality films are made and who looks at it and gives the stamp of approval is completely beyond me.
PASS
IDeclareWar-poster Taking “The Hunger Games” to a new level, “I Declare War” follows a group of kids playing capture the flag and turn their imaginations into reality as their toys become weapons and lives are at stake. With a humor all its own and some spectacular child acting, it will be hard to pass this one up.
50% PROBABLY
LastFlightOfTheChampion-poster Setting animation back about 20 years, “The Last Flight of the Champion” feels more like a child’s poorly produced video game than an actual feature film that people honestly spent money on. In college, I took an animation class where we learned some ins and outs of films like this and some of the work to come out of that class was better than this. So painful, there’s no way to make it through this entire trailer.
PASS
TheLifeguard-poster Director Liz W. Garcia may never be praised for this film, but to her defense, this independent film takes many distinct and unexpected turns which keep it, at least minimally fresh and a nice change of pace. The problem the film faces is its self-indulgence and slow pace, causing many viewers to cry boredom. But if you’re willing to put in the time and  can appreciate a methodical, older than usual coming of age story, along with an above par showing from Kristen Bell, then “The Lifeguard” might just be better than the critics are making it.
OurNixon-poster The fact that “Our Nixon” is made up of actual footage not uncovered until recently adds some stock to this film that it wouldn’t have otherwise. Before and after Watergate and exposing the entire crew behind the scandal, this could be an eye opening documentary that chronicles that era of our country.
25% MAYBE
Passion-poster2 Never capitalizing off its strong, power-driven leads, Brian De Palma’s “Passion” is anything but passionate. How a film starring such gorgeous and talented actresses like McAdams and Rapace could drop the ball so far and especially from a director with such a history, I will never know, but “Passion” fails to live up to the bar set by classic like “Scarface” and “The Untouchables” and even fails to live up to anything remotely resembling a thriller.

Vengeance-poster This is a four minute trailer that I’m not gonna sit through as the first 27 seconds are of slo-mo footage of Danny Trejo’s face. I enjoy him in small doses and even in “Machete”, but whatever the hell “Vengeance” is I want no part.
PASS

THEATER

  • Afternoon Delight
  • Closed Circuit
  • The Lifeguard
  • Passion

RENTAL

  • Getaway

MOST LIKELY CATCH ON NETFLIX (75%)

PROBABLY CATCH ON NETFLIX (50%)

  • I Declare War

MIGHT CATCH ON NETFLIX (25%)

  • Our Nixon

PASS

  • American Made Movie
  • Approaching Midnight
  • The Blackout
  • Instructions Not Included
  • The Last Flight of the Champion
  • One Direction: This Is Us
  • Vengeance

HELL NO

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s