Theatrical Releases: Cinderella & Run All Night

CINDERELLA || March 13th, 2015

Cinderella2015-poster As far as live action Disney remakes go, “Cinderella” does not stray too far from the source material, but still provides a visual feast that reaches beyond the 1950’s animated film, dazzling with beautiful dresses, exquisite effects, and stunning cast members that begin to make a name for themselves. The beautiful and talented young Brit, Lily James, plays the title character with Cate Blanchett acting as the evil stepmother. Holliday Grainger and Sophie McShera play the evil step-sisters and “Game Of Thrones” star Richard Madden takes on the role of the Prince. For all ages, “Cinderella” is probably one of the most entertaining live action adaptions of a Disney film yet.

RunAllNight-poster Liam Neeson Vs. Ed Harris is the only set up that you really need for Neeson’s new action film “Run All Night”. When Neeson kills Harris’ son to protect his own, played by Joel Kinnaman, the two must go on the run from Harris and his henchmen, including what looks to be a corrupt cop, played by Vincent D’Onofrio and a hired hitman, played by Common. They have one night to run and stay alive, but with the entire city after them it looks like quite the thriller. With Neeson at the helm and plenty of hire profile actors, this could actually end up being a really great action flick.
RENTAL

3Hearts-poster As touching as the foreign film “3 Hearts” looks, at its core, it really is just a classic love triangle mixed with destiny and fate. Marc (Benoît Poelvoorde) meets Sylvie (Charlotte Gainsbourg) in France, but when they miss their second meeting, they become lost to one another. Marc then meets Sophie (Chiara Mastroianni) and asks her to be his bride… only to find out that Sylvie is Sophie’s sister. Sounds like a storyline from every telenovela ever made. But there’s something sincere about this incarnation that almost makes you want to see it. Almost.
PASS
Champs-poster Has anyone else questioned why Mark Wahlberg, Denzel Washington, Ron Howard, and Mary J. Blige are being interviewed in a documentary called “Champs” about the corrupt world of boxing? I guess I am far more interested in what Tyson, Hopkins, and Holyfield have to say on the subject because they actually are boxers. But why these celebrities are weighing in on the world of professional boxing is beyond me and is never actually addressed in the trailer. Needless to say, I guess I won’t be finding out.
PASS
TheCobbler-poster Kudos to Adam Sandler for trying something new, playing the title character in the new dramedy “The Cobbler,” what looks almost like an adult fairy tale with no real built in audience. Sandler plays a shoe repairman that discovers a magical sewing machine in his basement that allows him to become anyone who’s shoes he currently has, meaning he becomes Method Man or the boyfriend of an extremely attractive woman. Were this more of a dark comedic film or were it actually rated R and leaned into the raunchiness slightly, I could probably get on board, but without these, it literally becomes an adult kids movie.
PASS
Cymbeline-poster What a shame it is when it seems like all the pieces are in place for a worthwhile film yet nothing seems to pay off quite like it should. The biggest problem I have with the trailer for “Cymbeline” is its music video demeanor, with cards and random dialogue strewn throughout in attempt to barely give a glimpse at what the film is. At least there’s a cast run to tell you that Ethan Hawke, Ed Harris, Milla Jovovich, John Leguizamo, Dakota Johnson, and Anton Yelchin are starring and slight nod to the fact that this is a retelling of a Shakespeare play, but even with that and a review that claims this is “Sons Of Anarchy” meets “Game Of Thrones,” I’m still not sold, which has to be some sort of red flag.
PASS
Eva-poster Why is science and technology (and Hollywood for that matter) so hell bent on creating a robot that can look and feel like a human being? First off, have none of them seen the “Terminator” franchise? And secondly, what is it about artificial intelligence that is actually so appealing? “Eva” is yet another film where that world of A.I. is explored, this time in the form of children. Why would anyone want a robot child? They’re never going to get older, they’re never going to move out. What point does a robot child actually serve? Daniel Bruhl stars in this rather quaint look at the robot future, which is mostly drama, with a slight promise of action.
PASS
HomeSweetHell-poster Katherine Heigl is so hot, I have a hard time during down anything that she’s in, even if it’s the off-beat, non-nonsensical comedy “Home Sweet Hell,” where she plays a control freak wife that leads her husband, played by Patrick Wilson, to cheat on her at work with Jordana Brewster. When Brewster reveals that she’s pregnant, Heigl’s go-to answer is to kill her, which leads to a convoluted and wacky plot that sees these ordinary people turned into criminals. With the feel of a film like “Bernie” or “The Details,” this could potentially be quite stupid, but pathetically the promise of Heigl in her underwear along with the R rating is enough to make me want to see it.
25% MAYBE
ItFollows-poster The best horror movies make analogies or parallels to the world around them. Somehow that was forgotten through all the slasher and gore films, and that’s why the current era of horror films has been so dismal. But that’s why horror films like “It Follows” becomes a beacon for the genre, almost as if it comes form a different era in and of itself. Following a young woman after being intimate with her boyfriend, the horror aspect of the film comes from a curse that is passed on through sexual intercourse in which an unknown entity begins following the person that the curse is passed on to. In this case, it’s the young woman, who must now decide whether to sleep with someone to pass on the curse (but if they are killed before they pass it on, the entity returns to the previous person) or whether to just keep running. This is by far the best horror film so far this year.
LikeSundayLikeRain-poster If “Like Sunday, Like Rain” highlights anything, it’s that Leighton Meester is becoming a very strong dramatic actress and does have the ability to project wonderfully in a lead role, but the film itself has little to get excited about, priding itself on trying to be like a smart, Woody Allen drama without actually saying anything about the world around it. Meester plays a woman hired to be the nanny for a smart little boy. Their connection is somewhat backwards, as he is constantly teaching her things. But with her beauty and growing skill in front of the camera, I am starting to have high hopes for her. Billy Joe Armstrong, on the other hand, I do not.
PASS
TheLovers-poster Josh Hartnett stars in this love story spanning centuries and titled “The Lovers”. On an underwater discovery expedition, Hartnett discovers an extremely old ring, but in bringing it to the surface, something happens that renders him unconscious. Suddenly, he finds himself in a past era, falling in love with another woman, while his love interest in the present time stands by his hospital bed, waiting for him to returned. Connected somehow by this mysterious ring, the film feels similar to films like “Timeline” and “A Winter’s Tale” while containing none of the chemistry from either of those films.
PASS
Muck-poster Okay, so follow me for a minute here: “Muck” is the second film in a trilogy… of a trilogy that doesn’t have a first film yet. Technically a sequel to a franchise that doesn’t actually exist yet, the horror film touts is lack of computer graphics and ability to use practical effects, but at the same time, the trailer for the film looks absolutely dismal, with cardboard acting and absolutely no style or technique to speak of. And when one of your main cast is a former Playboy Playmate, I cannot imagine you’re casting from a very wide pool.
PASS
OfHorsesAndMen-poster What I can only assume is a dark comedy involving horses, “Of Horses and Men” has a very vague trailer of a man looking through binoculars and another man riding a horse to some country-inspired music. There’s also a man screaming in the cold and a tractor falling down the side of a cliff. Where I assume this goes into dark comedic territory is during the end of the trailer and even the poster for the film, where a male horse mounts a female, while the man continues to sit on the horse being mounted. It’s rather humorous without being blatantly hilarious.
PASS
SeymourAnIntroduction-poster Academy Award nominated Ethan Hawke directs this documentary, “Seymour: An Introduction” about Seymour Bernstein, a once successful concert pianist who gave up the life to become a teacher. Now, dealing out worldly wisdom along with piano lessons, the man is so laid back and charming, you cannot help but fall in love. Hawke directs this as a passion piece, being a friend and apprentice to Seymour and appears in the film, asking questions and speaking of their bond. As uplifting and encouraging as this film may be, it really does not have a broad reach as far as audience goes.
PASS
TreadingWater-poster A boy that smells like fish is the premise of the coming of age drama “Treading Water”. With a rare disorder, the young boy becomes a teenager that is obsessed with swimming. It is there that he meets his love interest, played by Zoë Kravitz, who also loves swimming. How his smell works into actual romantic storyline I do not know, but there are plenty of attempts at humor off the boys smell. Both Zoë and Carrie-Anne Moss look gorgeous in the film, but neither can make up for the apparent odd ball nature of the film in general.
PASS
Walter-poster Offbeat comedies are running rampant these days, with yet another one in “Walter”. What marks an offbeat comedy is the independent nature, the dark comedic humor, and the off-the-wall subject matter. In this particular film, Walter is a ticket-taker at a movie theater that believe he’s the son of God and therefore determines whether people are going to heaven or hell. William H. Macy plays his therapist, Virginia Madsen plays his mother, and the rest of the cast includes Neve Campbell, Justin Kirk, Jim Gaffigan, and Milo Ventimiglia. Walter is played by Andrew J. West, known for his slight stint on “The Walking Dead” as Gareth.
PASS
TheWreckingCrew-poster “The Wrecking Crew” is to rock music what “20 Feet From Stardom” was to R&B and Motown. Praising the unsung heroes behind some of the most classic rock groups like The Beach Boys and The Monkees, these musicians were in the recording studios making these popular bands even more famous by contributing their talents and visions to the records. Of course, just like back up singers, there was never a time for them in the spotlight despite working harder than the actual talent themselves. However, where “20 Feet From Stardom” had some truly interesting stories, “The Wrecking Crew” feels more intent on telling exactly what these musicians were involved with rather than their exciting tales while being in the midst of some of the most recognizable faces in the industry.
PASS

THEATER

  • Cinderella
  • It Folllows

RENTAL

  • Run All Night

MOST LIKELY CATCH ON NETFLIX (75%)

PROBABLY CATCH ON NETFLIX (50%)

MIGHT CATCH ON NETFLIX (25%)

  • Home Sweet Hell

PASS

  • 3 Hearts
  • Champs
  • The Cobbler
  • Cymbeline
  • Eva
  • Like Sunday, Like Rain
  • The Lover
  • Muck
  • Of Horses And Men
  • Seymour: An Introduction
  • Treading Water
  • Walter
  • The Wrecking Crew

HELL NO

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