Theatrical Releases: Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation & Vacation

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – ROGUE NATION || July 31st, 2015

6WaysToDie-poster 6 WAYS TO DIE || Truth be told, it’s great to see Vinnie Jones in a leading role. Although it’s not much for him to sink his teeth into, “6 Ways To Die” allows a veteran actor like Jones to have some spot in the limelight that no one else is affording him these days. As the villain, he inflicts some pain on the protagonist of the story, Sonny “Sundown” Garcia, in the form of six acts of meaningful losses carried out by six hit-men. Originally titled “Six Ways To Sundown,” Vivica A. Fox, Dominique Swain, Tom Sizemore, and Bai Ling also star.
PASS
BestOfEnemies-poster BEST OF ENEMIES || William F. Buckley Jr. and Gore Vidal are probably the reason the ABC Television Network is still around. Not to mention, they changed television news altogether. During the summer of 1968, ABC ratings were down, so they brought in two political oppositions to debate, live and unscripted, on the air. What followed is one of the greatest rivals in the history of television. “Best Of Enemies” follows this from before their first air to the name-calling that was to come.
PASS
MissionImpossibleRogueNation-poster MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE: ROGUE NATION || When you’ve got a star as big as Tom Cruise still willing to do all his own stunts, you’ve got something special. In my opinion, “Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol” revitalized the franchise and with its epic set pieces and interesting, weaving narrative, it finally came into its own. “Rogue Nation” continues that revitalization, acting more as an homage to the original four, rather than any sort of continuation. The humor is on-point, the set pieces are still huge, and co-star Rebecca Ferguson delivers a stand-out performance.

Vacation-poster VACATION || Hollywood has motto it’s been carrying out for years: “if it ain’t broke, remake it.” National Lampoon’s “Vacation” is a hands-down classic that solidifing Chevy Chase and his Griswald family as one of the all-time funniest. Now, with the “Vacation” continuation, Ed Helms plays a grown-up Rusty Griswold who decides to take his family on the same vacation as his father. Christina Applegate plays the wife and Chris Hemsworth cameos as a threat to the marriage. Recycling some of the great gags of the original, putting a new spin on them, the best thing this film could do was bring back Chevy Chase, who also cameos. Basically the only reason I want to see this is to see how well it commemorates the original.
RENTAL

TheEndOfTheTour-poster THE END OF THE TOUR || Mainly because I’ve heard the performances are great and could lead to some Oscar buzz, at least as far as Jason Segel is concerned, I wouldn’t mind checking out “The End Of The Tour,” a road trip movie about Rolling Stone reporter (and novelist) David Lipsky (Jesse Eisenberg) and acclaimed novelist David Foster Wallace (Jason Segel) and their conversation together in 1996 after Wallace’s book “Infinite Jest” was released. The trailer doesn’t do the film tons of favors if it is indeed worth a viewing, but I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.
25% MAYBE
Extinction-poster EXTINCTION || Well, we’re now onto films that feature the second zombie apocalypse. First, they die and come back. Now they evolve. Matthew Fox and Jeffrey Donovan star in this zombie thriller as the final survivors of the first apocalypse. Having lived in a snowbound town where it was thought that the zombies couldn’t survive… guess what… they survived. And now they’re even more terrifying. Unfortunately, there’s nothing terrifying about this trailer. I’m glad it’s at least a spin on the current zombie craze, but either they’re not showing the zombies to keep them a surprise, or because they’re not very well designed.
PASS
IAmChrisFarley-poster I AM CHRIS FARLEY || Suffice it to say, I give documentaries about people tons of shit, because, let’s be honest, too many of them exist about people that are still alive, or only matter to small amount of people. But then there’s documentaries like “I Am Chris Farley,” about a comedian that died too soon, that everyone in that generation knew and loved. The interviews are look amazing, with friends and family, people opening up and not necessarily being completely kind, including Bob Odenkirk and David Spade. This is a biography documentary that deserves to exist.
RENTAL
JennysWedding-poster JENNY’S WEDDING || Definitely along the lines of a Lifetime Original Movie, “Jenny’s Wedding” boasts a big cast but proves why it had zero press to go along with it with its trailer. Starring Katherine Heigl as a daughter that none of the family ever thought would finally get married announces her engagement… to her roommate… that’s also female. Shocker! Okay, not really, because in our continuing progressive age, people being gay is becoming a normal part of society. Yes, they’re just starting to get basic rights like marriage, but it’s not as shocking anymore, at least to a younger generation. Alexis Bledel and Tom Wilkinson also star in was could have been a decent film 10-20 years ago.
PASS
TheKindergartenTeacher-poster THE KINDERGARTEN TEACHER || The story of “The Kindergarten Teacher” is almost too unique to pass up: Nira, the teacher, discovers that her five-year-old student is a poetic genius but her fascination with him soon turns to obsession as she races to get him noticed before his innocence is lost. As strong as the story is and as good as the visuals appear in the trailer, do not be surprised to see this on the shortlist as Israel’s submission for the Best Foreign Language Feature at next year’s Academy Awards.
25% MAYBE
ALegoBrickumentary-poster A LEGO BRICKUMENTARY || I have always loved LEGOs and for that I will probably see this documentary titled “A Lego Brickumentary”. Narrated by Jason Bateman, I’m not sure if it tells the origin story of the toy, but I assume it has to, but it delves into all the great ways the toy is being used today, from people building life-sized houses, to shooting films with them, to just about anything you can think of, going beyond kids’ bedrooms and into the world of adults.
25% MAYBE
ListenToMeMarlon-poster LISTEN TO ME MARLON || A documentary about Marlon Brando narrated in his own words, from audio recordings never heard before; that is the basis of a great documentary. I do love Marlon Brando’s work and think this is yet another documentary that deserves to exist, but knowing it might pop up in the Academy Awards’ Best Documentary Feature category I am passing with the hopes that it might be involved in my Oscar Challenge. With not much grabbing me about the film, it’s a tough sell.
PASS
NorthmenAVikingSaga-poster NORTHMEN: A VIKING SAGA || Ten seconds into this trailer… granted four of those seconds were the rating card… that’s six words of spoken dialogue and two shots, I could already tell you that I did not want to see “Northmen: A Viking Saga”. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been doing this for years and have a strong gut feeling of how I’m going to feel about a certain film or perhaps because the lack of quality is so blatant that it’s apparently immediately, but there’s a glaring fact that I will most likely not want to see this. Of course, I still watched the whole trailer, and as expected, I don’t want to see it.
PASS
PauloCoelhosBestStory-poster PAULO COELHO’S BEST STORY || As with most artist biographies, there’s a list of people that did not believe in them that they fought against to make it where they are today. “Paulo Coelho’s Best Story” happens to be about the author who was frequently told no one would ever read his work and that he could never make a living writing. Fast-forward and his books have sold over 165 million copies. Suspected of having schizophrenia, having been a rockstar before an author, and being known to go off the hinges, there is excitement here, but it just doesn’t venture far enough away from the artist biography tropes to feel original.
PASS
TheSeventhDwarf-poster THE SEVENTH DWARF || “The Seventh Dwarf” is one of those animated films that feels like it took lines from every other movie ever created in hopes that something would feel right. But instead, none of it does. None of the jokes land, I would suspect, even in the kid demographic. How they got the rights to use some of these characters is beyond me, but the story follows Snow White & the Seven Dwarves as they attend a party with the likes of Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, and other fairy tale creatures. But it comes down the dwarves having to save who I assume is Sleeping Beauty. Infants might be drawn to the colors but otherwise this film is for no one.
PASS
ThatSugarFilm-poster THAT SUGAR FILM || Following in the footsteps of Morgan Spurlock and “Super Size Me,” writer-director Damon Gameau contributes “That Sugar Film” where he commits to diet of sugar to show what can happen from its effects. As one person interviewed in the film states, when going to the grocery story, take a hard left to the produce aisle and skip all the rest, because everything in the middle is likely to have sugar. And as I’m writing this, I’m eating sugary snacks, having had donuts and a soda today as well. They’re not wrong.
PASS
TwoStep-poster TWO STEP || Style points go to the trailer for opening and closing on two visually interesting shots and with some eye catching cinematography, you want the film to be everything that the forty seconds of reviews at the top of the trailer claim it to be. Unfortunately, at least to me, it seems a little hollow and uninteresting, not to mention unnecessarily violent. With no real star power and a less than clear plot, I cannot say this jumps out at me in the slightest.
PASS
WesternReligion-poster2 WESTERN RELIGION || Were this story to have the right production team behind it (with some money, mind you) and some star power, I could see it being a lot more impacting than this low budget fare that boasts this cast of characters that is really very hollow and uninspiring and instead of putting them in a race for something or a battle to the death, they’re in a poker tournament. Not sure what era this is supposed to be in, because although the dress and style feel very old timey, the cards look like they’re from an actual casino and the production looks very modern. Sort of a shame.
PASS
WildCity-poster WILD CITY || Couldn’t even finish the trailer for “Wild City,” a foreign action film that was simply just too “blah” to even give my full two minutes to. “Find me the money” is about the only thing I really grasped in this trailer and even that could literally come from any film. By the time the slow motion action shots kicked in of people being violent and cars running into things and people be slashed with a knife, I simply couldn’t take anymore. “Don’t arrest me now. Arrest me tomorrow” was about the lamest thing I caught and just couldn’t take it. Not for me.
PASS

THEATER

  • Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation

RENTAL

  • I Am Chris Farley
  • Vacation

MOST LIKELY CATCH ON NETFLIX (75%)

PROBABLY CATCH ON NETFLIX (50%)

MIGHT CATCH ON NETFLIX (25%)

  • The End Of The Tour
  • The Kindergarten Teacher
  • A Lego Brickumentary

PASS

  • 6 Ways To Die
  • Best Of Enemies
  • Extinction
  • Jenny’s Wedding
  • Listen To Me Marlon
  • Northmen: A Viking Saga
  • Paulo Coelho’s Best Story
  • The Seventh Dwarf
  • That Sugar Film
  • Two Step
  • Western Religion
  • Wild City

HELL NO

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